Eh… This isn’t my grand ‘return’.
I need to ask you guys, as my readers and the aliens that crawl across my blog, a question.
(Might take some explanation first)
I read a pitiful amount of blogs today, but it’s a start. I just feel unhappy and panicked. I’m sorry. Looked at my reader and thought, “Oh god, I CAN’T do this, I’ve missed FOUR DAYS! The fuck is wrong with me?”
I feel like I’ve neglected everyone. I haven’t even checked out the blogs I WANTED to check out. I haven’t been checking up on my bloggy friends as much as I should, which is just plain NOT nice. And I have NO excuse. I’ve done fuck all; I don’t even feel like destroying myself like I did on Thursday and Friday; I’m fine. I felt happy yesterday when I went to town with my friends, but now I just feel weird, and empty. But now I’m more okay than I was. So why the hell have I not been reading?
I think I’ve just had enough of, well, everything. I get too panicked and I just think the world is useless sometimes, and when I think about the history test the Tuesday after next I just get UPSET. I don’t know.
But I WANT to post.
I feel guilty, though. I don’t NOT want to read blogs, but I just… Don’t because I have NO energy. That’s not fair. I shouldn’t not read and then write, and expect people to read it, as I haven’t read what THEY wrote.
Does that make sense?
Would it be alright if I posted stuff, without reading, just for a little while? I swear I’ll read more soon. It’s just I have work experience for a week tomorrow and, well, panic and shit like that.
What do you think?
Thanks. I dunno, I just guess I’m very out of sorts. I found a post today that was sad, and I wanted to give advice SO much, but I genuinely couldn’t. Don’t know why. I just feel useless and sick.
Anyway. Advice needed? Though it’s not fair of me to ask that of you, because I haven’t given any to you. That’s why I’m just a little upset/pissed off/unwilling to post.