You know when you get that chilling nostalgia, or you get upset, and your heart starts thumping and you feel cold all over?
I feel so sad right now.
I’m about to tell you about a part of my life that, before blogging, was more important to me than anything else, and which I thought about every single day. Blogging replaced it.
It’s called roleplaying.
Heard of it?
Many people think it’s really stupid, or that people only RP for sexual things. It really, really isn’t.
In about August of 2012 – when I was 12 – I found a site called Dragons of Myth.
I created a character called Siban Livon, who was the most obnoxious, god-moding, irritating, perfectly perfect and awful character I had EVER created. I ended up hating her so much that I HAD to create a new character. (Sorry, Sibby, but you were so irritating).
I called him Samyale. He was part of a group of six who I’d been thinking about writing for about 3 years – I used to imagine them and it was sort of a childhood game. Their names are engraved into my mind, and their personalities; you know when you write a character and you just KNOW them?
If you’d like, I can write a post on them 🙂
I loved Sam. He grew with me and he’s as much a part of me as ANY of my next characters were, because he shaped them all. He was the first one I loved to write.
So, he carried me through until March of 2013, when I royally fucked up something. I can’t exactly remember WHAT – the point is that I left.
But then, I came back. In September of that year. Sam had changed, and so had I, but I’d missed everyone so much that it hurt.
I became a staff member of that site in January (2014) and that’s something I will NEVER regret. I miss them. It was amazing to be part of that.
It got hard. I remember my other characters, too – Ayalese, Errin. The others are fading but I LOVED those two.
But it was difficult. I had schoolwork – and besides, I was getting stressed about other things. It built up.
So in the summer of 2014, I left for good. It hurt like hell – but I couldn’t attend staff meetings because of my stress and the fact that I lived in a different timezone to everyone else.
But I remember RPing. It’s the most freeing feeling you’ll ever get. Writing words, and having someone respond to those words, and spinning stories and characters.
After I left, I tried another site called Imladrin, and I’m still staff on there, but I’m not active.
I’ve moved on, I suppose. I miss writing Sam and Aya and Gemma (another character) so much that it sometimes makes me feel so sad I want to cry.
A really good thing that happened, through RPing, was how I became close with my friend Odd. It was about December 2013, before I became staff. Hey Odd – remember Rain? 😀 And BLADE!
When I left, I lost contact with all of them. I’ve started talking to my friends again – Star, Val – but that’s about it.
I re-emerged, early this year, with a character called Leyanaith, but she didn’t stick around.
I got an email today, saying that one of my characters is going to expire soon. And it hurt. I felt sick.
I miss everyone.
I loved that site. It was my internet home.
If any of you guys find this, I love you so much. I miss you and I’m so sorry for leaving.
But now, it’s blogging. Now it’s YOU guys. You’re the ones that keep me happy.
I can’t forget, though, and I don’t think I will.
I hope you enjoyed that little foray into my past – sorry it’s so long! It’s good to talk about this.
Have any of you roleplayed, and where? I’d love it if you could let me know in the comments.
From Elm 🙂