So, after everything bad that happened this morning, I needed to talk to people, so that’s what I did. That included bloggers, but it also included my friend Odd straight after it happened, and Red just now. Separately, they saw me in hysterics in so much pain and they saw me when I’d calmed down.
From talking to them both, I realised the following things:
It’s not my fault. I often try and turn the situation around and blame myself, but this time I physically can’t. Normally, the last person to blame would be the person that hurt me, but I can’t do that now.
I was, and am, mature enough to deal with a relationship. Not right now, of course, but I’m no longer the kid that would go “LOL k den” when someone asked her out.
I can move on from this, and pretty quickly. Don’t get me wrong: I did have feelings for Palm, but they weren’t serious. I was emotionally invested, but not too emotionally invested that I couldn’t function without him which was what happened with Ash and Birch. And plus, it was only for two weeks.
I’m proud of myself for not blaming myself, and for realising that this is okay. I often overreact and freak out completely, which is not good.
I have my friends here to support me, like you guys, and people in real life who knew. You’ve all helped me so much and I need that, because yesterday and today were terrible.
I NEED to start that writing blog, because it will distract me and help me so much.
I’m upset, but not too upset. I’m strong enough to deal with this, and I know I am because I’m not going to shoot myself down before I can stand.
If you’re going through a similar situation to me, I know that you’re strong enough, too. Putting the too there makes alarm bells go off in my head, telling me I’m arrogant, but I won’t listen. Admitting you’re strong is good. You can get through this, and we’ve all got your back and can help you WHENEVER you need it.
Stay strong and stay yourself.
Thanks, everyone. Your support was so beautiful today and I couldn’t ask for better friends. If you ever need ANYTHING, kik me or email me or comment and I’ll be there.
And thanks, Odd and Red, for being amazing friends and for always being here. You’re seriously wonderful people and I needed you to say what you said. Thanks, Odd, for telling me what I needed to hear and refusing to be put off by my hysterical crying. And thanks, Red, for saying everything you have and talking it through with me. Thank you both. And I’ll stop now before I start getting even more sappy.
From Elm 🙂