Asking for Help is So Tricky

I just emailed my english teacher.

I mean, it nearly reduced me to tears, but I needed to do it. I struggled over a homework that should have taken 20 minutes, and I couldn’t do it, when ordinarily I WOULD be able to.

I find it difficult to ask for help. I always have. It makes me feel selfish/worthless/useless – and I KNOW that’s ridiculous; I’m beginning to accept that it’s stupid. Whether it be help for homework, help with emotions, help on ANYTHING – I end up shaking and nearly crying and feeling weak, but it’s getting better.

The fear’s nearly choking me, but I’m getting better. I’ve GOT to ask for help. I can’t do this alone and damned if I’m letting myself waste away because of this. I’ve got so much to live for.

You know when you panic and feel so helpless that you feel hot and then cold all over? Yup.

I need to call Childline. I need to call them now.

Okay. I called. That actually helped so much. My voice shook so badly throughout, and I could barely think, but the woman was so nice and just talked shit through with me. About a minute before I called, I just thought that nobody actually cared etc etc, but now I’m realising they do. I’m nearly in tears but they’re half-good and half-bad tears and I’m okay. I’m getting BETTER.

Contacting my English teacher was a good idea. I get that now. And I talked EVERYTHING through with the Childline counsellor and I needed it. I still feel sick, but I needed that. And OH SHIT, I haven’t done my maths for tomorrow.

You know what, guys? Asking for help isn’t so bad. I’m panicking over my revision timetable and the fact that I haven’t prepared it, but I’m okay. I haven’t wanted to self-distruct for at least an hour and that’s such an improvement.

Help still scares me beyond thought. I need to accept that I need it, though. I’ve got to recover – and GOD, this isn’t even serious! Not at all! My problems are insignificant. Like, I’m so worried about my friend on top of my other worries, and I don’t think distracting myself with that worry is a good thing.

I’m okay. DAMNIT, I’m okay. I needed the childline call because otherwise, things would have got really bad. Aspen helped me so so much, but then shit got really bad after I stopped talking to him, and yeah. This post happened.

Thanks for reading, everyone. Thanks for always putting up with me.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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31 thoughts on “Asking for Help is So Tricky

  1. You just described me there. I’ve always been uncomfortable asking for help. It really makes me feel worthless and weak. I haven’t yet come to terms with it but I am trying too. What’s more scary is what if the person you ask help from says no?

    All the silly fears we have!

  2. Omg I remember struggling over my formal essay I emailed my English teacher on Sunday when everyone had submitted it.
    Asking for help is never a problem, I’m glad you did!

  3. Anyone worth knowing will always be happy to help. It’s natural to shy away from help, because it has connotations of weakness and uselessness. These are not true. No one can do anything alone, and asking for help is the mature and sensible thing to do. L XX

  4. This is actually pretty relatable for me, I also don’t like asking for help because I feel like a nuisance and also kind of selfish. But I know when to just do it, I know when help is really needed and obviously you do too. And that’s the most important thing, to ask for help when you need it most. πŸ™‚

  5. Asking for help is the only way to get it! But I understand how hard it can be sometimes – it feels embarrassing ! Especially when afterwards it seems so obvious!

  6. I am an English teacher. I read this to my class and one of my students had this to say: No one is perfect at everything. Everyone needs help with something. No one should be ashamed to ask for help. Asking for help shows a person’s maturity and eagerness to learn. I used to be weary about asking for help as well. It’s normal. Good for you for moving past your fear.

    • Hi – it means so much to me that you’d read out my post to your class. I’m really sorry about the swearing, but I hope your students got something out of it. That’s the thing that means the world to me.
      Could you pass on a message to that particular student?
      Thank you. I’m slowly moving past it, and your words have helped me so much. It means a lot that you’d give advice to me, without even knowing me; that just shows you’re a great person. Thanks again; I think we all need to realise that asking for help is GOOD.

      Again, thank you for reading it out. That means a lot to me; I don’t really know HOW to thank you. It might not seem like much, but the fact that you read it out to people has made me happy.

      • I teach at an alternative school and was myself a trouble teen once upon a time, so I have traveled down many a similar road. You’re welcome, and best of luck.

      • Thank you again πŸ™‚ It’s good that you understand what we, as teens, go through. I think that’s important. Out of interest, how old were the students you taught at the time of reading my post?

  7. Yes yes. I totally agree. Whenever I want to ask me math teacher something, I end up not saying anything because I’m embarrassed…? You just described everything I am in this one post.

  8. I’m the same, I don’t like asking for help on anything but I’m slowly getting better. I don’t open up easy but with the few people I have I realise that there is actually people out there willing to help and not judge you for asking. Of course I still hate it but, like you, I am getting better.

    • And I’m so glad. We can help each other along the way πŸ™‚ People DO care. People are ALWAYS happy to help you, remember that. That’s why we’ll never refuse when you ask for help, and we’ll help you in the best way we can.

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