Because of my KIND OF lack of good eyesight, I do PE separately a lot of the time to my friends, and I have to exercise with my VI helper (urgh urgh urgh). I used to hate it so much – still do – but then sometimes, my friends came along with me. Willow – one of the first and best friends I made in secondary school – used to always go with me, and it was like our tradition, until she stopped and Odd took her place for a little, but in recent weeks I’ve been doing it by myself. I don’t MIND – it’s not the best – but I live for days like today. I’ll explain.
Willow and I aren’t as close as we were, which breaks my heart – she has different friends and we never talk any more when before, we knew each other so well. It started right in the middle of last year – year 10 – and we just don’t seem to click any more, which is a shame. Except, we did today.
So, I’d got changed and was just walking over to one of the buildings where we do PE with Willow. She didn’t HAVE to go with me, but everyone else was gone and she didn’t know where she was going. My VI helper – really they’re a TA (teaching assistant) came up to us, and our conversation went a little like this:
“Hi Elm, is Willow coming along with you?”
(Pause) “Um I’m not really sure… Willow, you wanna?”
(Another pause) “I really don’t mind.”
“Ohh, okay, we might as well. For old times?”
“Yeah, why not?”
We’d been talking previously, about God knows what, but we went into the gym and went on some exercise bikes and just TALKED and laughed.
I have never felt so happy as I did then. EXERCISING – which I hate – along with Willow made me realise why we are friends, and why we work. We can STILL talk to each other: sure, it isn’t like before, but no matter. We’ve changed but we still know each other.
We said we needed to meet up, ESPECIALLY after she goes to another college when I’m at sixth form. We talked about her sister, people in our year, Prom dresses, my boyfriend, her Badminton crush, EVERYTHING. When we walked into the changing rooms at the end, we were laughing so hard that we nearly cried, acting like complete idiots in the comfortable way we did before.
And like I said, I was happy. We’re NOT as close, and you can tell that, but I don’t care. I had this – I had TODAY – which just reminds me who she is and who I am and about our friendship. We talked about old memories from the past and I remembered. Unlike with Ash, these memories make me smile and think of the old days.
Speaking of Ash, I got some pretty bad reminders on the way to school today because I remembered when he said we would meet up in the Easter holidays and it hurt so much because that was the time we broke friends. I was originally going to devote an entire post to it, but FUCK YOU ASH you only get a paragraph. I kept on thinking “What if?” and it scares me because I still can’t stand him now. But oh well – that doesn’t matter, because I had a good day and his memory can’t ruin it.
Do you ever get those days with old friends which make you feel so nostalgic, but a HAPPY kind of nostalgia? Where you miss them, but you have this to hold onto?
From Elm 🙂