Do I HAVE The Right?

Today, I went prom dress shopping with Wren – which was amazing, and we cried with laughter on so many occasions. She’s fabulous πŸ˜€

I found my dress, but in the process of looking, something came up that bothered me a little at the time, but now I’m okay.

We went through shops, looking for dresses in my size. To put things in perspective, I’m thin as hell, and underweight – fuckit, let’s just say it. I’m a size 6.

There were hardly any dresses in that size – all of them were 8s. “10, 12, 14, another 14, okay that’s an 8, and that one, and THAT one, c’mon c’mon!” BUT hardly any sixes. And it upset me. Wren noticed, of course, and we talked it through.

Do I have a right to be bothered that I’m SO thin, SO small, and that hardly anything WILL fit me? I don’t know. On either end of the scale – overweight, underweight – clothes won’t fit as easily. I’d rather be in the middle, an 8, 10, or 12, but then people apparently would be so happy if they were my size.

But no, you wouldn’t be. In the shops, they hardly ever have dresses, or the dresses I NEEDED, in my size, and it was frustrating as hell.

People worry about being fat, overweight, etc – by the way, that’s not a bad thing and don’t try and change yourself. I feel like I’m UNABLE to give advice, because I’m so thin, but in a way I can because I have the same issues, but just in reverse.

I think I’m TOO thin, TOO skinny, small, with my wrists too thin and my body too little that only kids’ clothes will fit me. Shoes are always a problem too, because I’m so small. When I think, or talk about it, I feel like it’s unfair because people have it so much worse, in terms of body confidence, than I do.

You know what? I’m alright how I am. I’m tiny, I look like a 12-year-old, but I don’t care. Shopping’s more difficult, but to be honest, who cares? I’m living my life and yeah, putting on weight might be better for me, but I’m working on it.

People have it difficult, they always will. It might seem like I’m talking up on a pedestal, like my life is perfect because of my weight, but I KNOW how you feel when you can’t stand your body. No matter what size you are, does it matter? What DOES matter is that you’re as healthy, and happy, as you can be. Don’t dismiss people just because they’ve got different struggles to you. Don’t call thinner people skinny bitches, or larger people disgusting.

Just remember this: you might think the people who you WANT to be, who are your opposites, have it amazing. Chances are, they hate their body and they feel insecure. That just shows you you’re not alone, and that it’s okay to be how you are.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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66 thoughts on “Do I HAVE The Right?

  1. I have so many prom dresses from when I was in high school! Some size 2,4,6,10, and 14, I got pretty chunky by the time I graduated lol. When I wore a size 2-4-6 they had to always seam the dress together. Maybe you can try that? Good luck!!!

  2. I have the same problem but the other way. I am tall. I am about 173 cm and I have wide shoulders. There are so many stores that I don’t even need to look because they don’t have my size. Sometimes that upsets me. I know I am not overweight but I think about other girls that are not as confident as I am when it comes to my body. It is stupid that all these stores set norms on how your body is supposed to be shaped so you can fit in their clothes. It is frustrating.

    • God, it really is, and I’m so glad you understand me on this. It’s just honestly upsetting sometimes because we don’t meet the shops standards of being the ‘right’ size for their clothes.

  3. I have the exact same problem. I’m quite tall as I’m 5’7 but I’m a size 4/6 so its so difficult to find things that fit me. So many of my friends say they would love to have my figure as well as lots of other people, but its so difficult and sort of feels like your not a womanly. I’m 16 and I still fit into age 11 shorts for god sake. I’m so glad you found your dress, I need to start looking for mine! xx

  4. I feel really bad. I’m fat and I just wanna be thin. But I can see where you’re coming from- I don’t assume you have it best. I just wanna be in the middle. And pretty like all my friends are. But I suck at everything and no clothes in my closet look good. I ran out of pants πŸ˜› And I don’t even eat anything at all. And having too high of a metabolism is bad too. Everyone is beautiful either way, but I don’t feel that way. I just wanna be normal. I don’t eat anything, no snacks, nothing. It’s so embarassing. It’s also annoying when my pretty and perfect sized friend calls herself fat… if she is fat, what the heck am I. I don’t have good advice for this and I feel really bad. I guess it kinda makes me feel better that everyone hastheir struggles? It’s not all unfair… i’m just really sad though. But hey, you can eat more CHOCOLATE/favorite food ^^ was that mean?I didn’t mean to be. Again- I forgot what being like that is. I used to be underweight when I was little. I miss being normal.

    • Oh SHH, you’re not mean or ANYTHING like that! Everyone has their struggles and it’s MORE than okay to voice them. In fact, it’s better that you do. I want you to know that “normal” is subjective – you’re normal to yourself, and no one has the right to judge you because of your size. Don’t hate something about yourself that you can’t control.

  5. is it really weird that i find it really cute when you say you have little wrists and you’re tiny. like ohmygod Elm, you must be adorable !
    i’m sorry i’m so weird.
    SORRY.
    i hope i didn’t creep you out.

  6. THIS IS SO ME! I can never find clothes/dresses that fit me, unless they’re really high-end expensive ones 😦 Also my wrists are pathetic really, but I’m learning to embrace it! Also congrats on finding a dress! Usually it takes me about 3 shopping trips before I can find something πŸ™‚

  7. yeah, same here!!!my jumper dress i am wearing now is a 10 year old one, and its as loose as hell!!i am 12 btw!!and my school skirts dont fit right, i roll them!!like once or twice!!what colours your dress??!!!byeXxx

  8. Yes I know exactly what you mean! There is so much pressure nowadays to be skinny and everyone says that is the best, but really we just need to be whatever is healthy and natural! “Normal” for one person is different than “normal” for another, and I wish people would start accepting that. Anyways, I hope you figured out the dress after all. You’re gonna look great!

    • I hope you’re right, and THANK YOU! You’ve got it exactly right; people trying to fit into society’s standards could make them become unhealthy.

  9. You’re not alone in that. I always always have to look for size small. If there are no smalls I’m pretty much doomed. I used to hate it. But now I embrace it. I’m glad that you embrace it too. Because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We were made the way that we are for a reason πŸ™‚

  10. I’m skinny too, as in my body frame is just naturally skinny it’s a genetic thing for me. and it’s not something I can easily change so I just try and stay healthy and confident and comfortable. πŸ™‚

  11. I can pretty much relate to this. I don’t want to change my size or anything, but I am a little on the skinny side, so it’s hard for me to find clothes that fit. I’m too big for the stuff in the kids section (I don’t like those clothes designs anyways) but even an adult extra small is too big. I can never find perfectly fitting anything and usually just go with the slightly oversized stuff, hoping that I grow into it (which I probably won’t for a long time. And for the shoes, I’m 14 but I wear size 3s cuz my feet are so small, and it’s really only hard to find this size with shoes that I like, because most stuff that size is designed for smaller people (even though it’s supposed to be a women’s shoe size) so it has tons of pink and stripes and stuff, when all I want is a 1-2 color, plain sneaker. xD But aside from the mini-story, it’s not always a luxury to be underweight and skinny lol.

    • My GOD we’re size 3 buddies! πŸ™‚ And yes. Smaller clothes just seem to be designed for kids, and like you, I can’t often fit into the adult clothes. But y’know what – we’ll always find something right for us.

  12. I relate so much to this. I’m painfully skinny too and people look at me saying I’m so lucky and stuff when really, I can’t control it. I’m naturally skinny and when I tell people I’m trying to gain weight, they look at me like I’ve gone mental.
    You’re not alone, feeling like this. There are pros and cons to every side of the spectrum.

  13. Sorry for being rather late but this post is just WOW. I can completely relate- I’m not small, I’m actually quite tall but I also look young for my age and am self conscious about my appearance. I’m actually really scared about going to prom- I have ages, it’s in like a year, but how do you choose a dress??

    • Heyy, don’t worry about it πŸ™‚ As for dresses, you can go online, but going to shops might be better. And DON’T feel self-conscious about this one – I’m telling you, you are perfect in the way you are. Nonetheless, it’s okay to feel insecure, but don’t let it consume you.

  14. Oh, Elm, I haven’t seen you, but I will say that you’re brilliant and amazing and fantastic as you are. Sure, being small may be hard at times, but, coming from a tall person here, being tall is a bit poo too. And think of it this way: you can fit through all the tiny gaps between people in crowded places. Oh, and looking younger may come in handy one day when you’re older! xx

  15. Seeing as I am 5.3 deft weighing 100 pounds, I completely understand your struggle. The worst thing are the people that give me the “girl, you don’t no knowing bout problems, being skinny ain’t a real problem” attitude. Dude, really, seriously, you have no idea how hard insecure it makes me feel sometimes. My eureka moment consist of finding a jeans that can fit me without a belt. Oh and that simply “just eat more” solution is not an option because I already eat like a horse and guess what, I still am what I am. Who are you to tell me whether my problems are real/ not real. So my point is Elm, you have every right to complain about this subjects. Everything else would be unfair 😌😊

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