I’m not Scared to Say What My Fears Are

I’m scared of the future.

I’m scared of not getting a job, because the employment figures for disabled people aren’t so good.

I’m scared that I’ll live on benefits. for the rest of my life, and that I’ll have to compete with everyone to get the job, and not just those with good grades.

I’m scared of hurting people, and of something happening to me that would CAUSE me to do that.

I’m scared of losing friends, and having arguments with them; I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and hate myself so viciously because of how I treat people.

I’m scared that I’ll rush the physical aspect of my relationship too much.

I’m scared that people will find my blog, from real life, and I’m terrified that then my world would just tumble down and I’d lose the one place I truly love.

I’m scared that one day, someone will use my blog against me and I’ll be powerless to stop them because things stay on the internet. forever.
I’m scared of my paranoia and how it makes me nervous, and I’m always worried that my friends – or anyone – will turn round and get sick of it.

I’m scared of not doing well in my exams, and I’m scared that I won’t do enough revision in these last few weeks.

I’m scared of falling, or dying.

I’m scared of a lot of things that you guys are scared of, too. That’s okay.

I might be scared of many things, but I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m not going to hide them; I’m not frightened to stand up and say, “I’m scared of these things, but it’s OKAY.”

I’ll take them, one fear at a time, and deal with them. “Piss off,” I’ll say. What will happen will happen, and I’m still me with all my hopes and dreams and fears and love. I’m still scared, but remember: it’s okay to have fears, but don’t let them rule your life.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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72 thoughts on “I’m not Scared to Say What My Fears Are

  1. I don’t think you realise how deep that one was!

    That was really cool Elm πŸ™‚

    Don’t worry about saying stuff to offend us, you could never do that! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Your fears are only normal. It’s ok to be scared, because we all are, especially me (internally screaming). All we have to do is work as hard as we possibly can and overcome the obstacles in our way, and only then, will we win. There will be a lot of people who want to pull us back, but you have to push and break away, and make it, like I know you will. Just take your blog for instance, you reached over 1000 followers in about a year. You did that! You! πŸ˜€ You’re amazing, and I believe you will make your future the best it can be πŸ™‚ After all, you are in TeamAwesome πŸ˜‰

    • YOU are brilliant! πŸ™‚ Seriously, you make my day EVERY TIME you comment and your blog is just so so so AMAZING. You’re a kind person and it feels like you’ve been on the blogosphere forever.

  3. YES ELM! Love, love, LOVED THIS.
    We should never ever be embarrassed to own up about our fears. It’s literally taken me almost 16 years to work that out. But I am glad I finally did. I’m glad you aren’t ashamed to either. πŸ™‚ xx

  4. This is amazing. You’re already halfway there by admitting all those fears and trying to get over them! Honestly, that’s the hardest part.

  5. This is amazing! But really, I can’t say I’m surprised, I think basically all of your blogs are flawless. I’m scared of a lot of things. But I know fear is normal, and it’s okay to be scared as you said. Even if some of my fears are stupid, like I’m scared of spiders although they are tiny and can’t hurt me at all. They are just creepy. Anyway, great post ^-^ ;]]

    • Awww thank you so much! And honestly – all your fears are TOTALLY valid. Don’t undermine them – if you’re scared, you’re scared.

  6. I love how you are so bold about your fears. That definitely takes a lot of courage, and it’s for sure a first step in conquering those fears!
    I’m also glad to see that someone else has a fear of having people I personally know somehow find my blog. I almost thought I was alone in that for a sec haha.
    Good luck getting over your fears though! You got this!

  7. That was probably like the most inspiring thing I’ve ever read.
    It’s super brave of you to put out your fears like that and I’m sososo proud of you! ❀
    Also, you're not alone. I have so many fears that it gets a little insane, but nevertheless… we must all learn from you and say "Piss off" to our fears! (I'd probably say something even a bit stronger than "piss"… πŸ™‚ )

  8. This is the bravest and most inspirational thing I’ve read of yours. You’re so strong and really brave to admit that you get scared too. fear is something I’m constantly battling with because I’m scared of my future also and what I’m going to make of myself. I’m scared I will never rent an apartment and have to spend the rest of my life on the streets.
    Thanks for sharing this, it makes me feel better because I know somebody knows how I feel.
    Great post elm πŸ™‚
    -your rebel leader πŸ™‚

  9. Owning up to your fears is so much more better than giving in to them. I loved reading this, Elm. After all, we’re all afraid of something or another and it’s okay. It feels good to accept that.

  10. As an anonymous blogger I fully understand your fear of someone from real life finding your blog. What scares me even more is that someone could identify me from my blog and not tell me about it, so I would keep posting and pouring my heart out online, and they would read it and know all the things I’d never tell anyone. At least if I knew someone found my blog I could delete it, but not knowing is the absolute worst.

    • Oh god, that’s one of my absolute TERRORS too! Because it could be anyone, reading ANYTHING you write. And you wouldn’t even know.

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