I Appear to Have Transformed

If you’d have told me, a year ago, that I was going to willingly put on makeup before going out, I would have laughed in your face and asked if you were okay.

Now, as I’m about to take some foundation out of my bag, I’m wondering what changed. It’s only been in the last… Two weeks that I’ve fully wanted to put makeup on, but why? Does it make me feel more confident?

The answer is no. It doesn’t. Some people feel like makeup is a mask, others an art, and still others a way to express themselves. Me? I just think it’s a thing that I do, and I’m trying to pinpoint why I sort of like it now.

I used to hate it. I used to think it was pointless and that putting it on would make me somehow fake. Other girls would wear it, every day, and I’d consider it weird and think, “That’s not me!” I’ve decided that thinking that is kind of judgemental and that I should “embrace it” and be comfortable with wearing it, for lack of a better word.

Ever since one day, when my friend Ivy and I went to a town near me and I put it on, I’ve felt like I could wear makeup without being judged. I could wear it without judging myself, or calling myself stupid, or any other negative adjective.

After my Prom, I’ve been thinking that wearing makeup isn’t such a bad idea. I won’t wear it every day – only on days where I go outside with friends – and I don’t think it’s to fit in. I know that my friends don’t care, and no one else should either. It’s about me, and how I feel when I wear it. I don’t feel more confident, or anything like that; I just feel like it’s an extra, optional feature that I could put on if I wanted to.

I do want to, and I’m happy with that. Sometimes, changes in myself scare me, and I hate them. Unlike previously, I haven’t had an identity crisis; I’ve accepted this for how it is: just another part of me that’s slowly growing. To let it grow is totally fine, because people change.

Thinking that putting on makeup “isn’t me” is ridiculous. Wondering if my friends will think I’m fake is also pointless, because they won’t. It’s OKAY to wear makeup, Elm! It’s. more than okay, because you’re putting yourself out there a little. I’m going to seize this attitude which I have now and use it every day, if I can, because I need to feel positive.

Makeup doesn’t make me more of a girl. It doesn’t make me “stereotypical”, or a sheep for following the crowd. It doesn’t make me who I am, because I was already that – with or without it.

Do you guys wear makeup – no matter what gender you are?

You know what? I feel powerful.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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91 thoughts on “I Appear to Have Transformed

  1. I actually love makeup, I’m going to take a course on it when I go back to America There’s nothing wrong with wearing makeup, it’s fun to do, and if it makes you happy, do it!:)

  2. I don’t wear make-up really except for special occasions but i actually feel self-conscious wearing make-up rather than not wearing it xD

  3. As a makeup-wearer myself (usually just a couple of times a week if that), I totally get the feeling! I feel like makeup can be really enjoyable, and I think it’s really great that you enjoy wearing it too πŸ™‚

  4. I’m the same as you, I just wear make up a) when I feel like it and b) when I have the time to put it on. For example, if I have an extra 20 minutes in the morning, or maybe before I’m going out in the evening. Most of the time I go bare faced though, just because… it’s easier? But that doesn’t mean I don’t like it πŸ™‚ This is a great post by the way πŸ™‚

    • Aww thank you, and your comment was lovely! πŸ™‚ I think, like you, it’s just if I have time. I won’t CREATE time for it, purposefully, but if I have time and I’m in the mood, I’ll put it on. Ahh I’m so glad someone feels the same way. I’m always scared I’m doing too much, or too little

  5. Omg I hated make up too. Like sooooo much. I used to be all like – ew why do people do that? It makes them so unreal. Are they really that ugly that they need to conceal their faces with make up?
    I now want to go knock some sense into younger me. I don’t particularly LOVE make up, but I do like it. I’m watching make up tutorials and just wondering how people do that, not in disgust, but in awe. I can’t believe I used to condemn make up so much, because I spend like half an hour everyday trying to wind my eyeliner perfectly.

    • Ohhhh YES I’m not alone in this! πŸ™‚ I just AM in awe of people who can do it so perfectly! I really wish I could slap some sense into younger me, too, because I was just so… Judgemental. I wish I could have looked back and realised that makeup’s just another thing, but y’know, I’m doing that NOW so it’s a good thing!

  6. I like wearing makeup because I kind of enjoy the process of putting it on.
    But I also somehow realized that without I tend to feel more uncomfortable but anyways.
    Good that you just do it for yourself and that you feel as great when you wear it and when you don’t πŸ˜€

    • Yeah, hehe exactly! πŸ™‚ I’m so happy that I’ve got more confident – not because of makeup, but I’ve got confident enough to wear it

  7. This is so me!!! I recently started feeling comfortable with wearing makeup when I go out, and it’s been the best. I wear it when I feel like and don’t worry what people think that makes me extremely happy.

  8. I honestly, LOVE makeup. And I never really put it on to feel more confident (although, that IS a plus point), I just wear it for fun. When I was younger, I would wear makeup to play dress up ;P (ya know, drawing on cat whiskers and moles with eye pencils, classy AF if ya ask me). I still love it, I wear it to feel happy. It’s just a very feel- good experience, you feel me? Anyways, I’m just so glad you’ve changed your outlook on makeup and people who wear makeup- let’s be honest, makeup is pretty darn awesome.

  9. I view makeup almost like the accessories we wear to an outfit. Something we can choose to wear because why not? I don’t wear makeup personally but I think it’s awesome that you feel at ease wearing it! I hope you enjoy experimenting with it!

  10. Lip gloss is about the extent of the makeup I wear on a regular basis. I tried more once upon a time, and found that I was spending nearly an hour just trying to make it look decent since I have absolutely no vision and kept having to ask people stuff. Now I only work really hard on makeup for special occasions like weddings. It’s just too much work, and honestly I don’t care enough about what people think to put that much time into my appearance. They can like me for what I look like naturally or not like me at all. I don’t judge those who love makeup, it’s just not for me. So glad you’ve found that you like it after all though! It’s perfectly ok to grow and change! πŸ™‚

    • That it is! But OHHH putting makeup on with no sight is a right pain! I’m constantly asking if it’s okay, and I can’t put mascara on on my own. I basically need help constantly πŸ˜€ So yeah, I know the feeling!

  11. There’s this little quote from a book (I forget what it’s called): “I think she [the character wearing makeup] just looks more like herself.” I suppose that’s what makeup’s for- to look more like a true, confident version of yourself :).
    I haven’t personally tried makeup on, but I can’t wait to! I’m very self-concious, but I’m glad you’ve decided to become more like yourself with makeup.

    • Oh, I LOVE that quote! I really wanna know where it comes from! πŸ˜€ Also, I understand what it’s like to be self-conscious.

      • I think- note: think, not know- it’s from a book called Bliss by Kathryn Littlewood. Or maybe I just forgot the actual quote & worked around it. Sounds like me :D. By the way, Bliss is a really good book though it’s more for kids than teens :/. I don’t know if you’re still interested now that I told you that.

  12. I don’t wear make up (unless I’m doing a show or something) but I found this really interesting because I was always just unaware that girls (and some guys) had these conflicting thoughts on wearing makeup.. One of my friends who wears make up was really upset once when a speaker came to talk to the girls at our school about not conforming to men’s expectations and she basically said that girls wear make up to please men. I personally don’t agree at all and neither did my friend (who got quite riled up). These judgements around wearing makeup are stupid really..It sounds like you enjoy doing it so do whatever makes you feel the best!! πŸ™‚

  13. I personally don’t wear makeup (except sometimes I’ll wear mascara and lip gloss for concerts) because I find then too troublesome and because it’s not my style, I’ll totally get laughed at. I don’t have problems with people wearing it though.

  14. To be honest, I don’t really judge people on the basis of if they wear makeup or not. I just don’t care! If you want to, wear it. If you don’t, who is forcing you? Lipstick and compact powder is the extent of makeup for me, though. It just makes me feel more extrovertish, I guess?

  15. Brilliant post, very honest, I really liked it. It was quite relatable to me. I used to be similar, I’d never wear make up, never wanted to and now like wearing it once in a while! πŸ™‚

  16. Ahhh this is the same as me pretty much! For ages I didn’t wear it, then I started wearing mascara most days, now I wear mascara and concealer most days, eyeshadow and eyeliner for special occasions and I wore lipstick for the first time at my prom a couple of weeks ago πŸ™‚ I’m not really sure why I wear it then, maybe a mix of giving me more confidence and also just because I feel like it enhances my natural looks and I like that, if that makes sense? Anyway, awesome post πŸ™‚

    • YES I totally understand that! πŸ™‚ I’m the same! I didn’t wear eyeliner until Prom, but I’ve been wearing Mascara recenqy quite a bit. And foundation, too. It’s weird how things change, especially for YOURSELF.

  17. After last year, I completely changed. compeltely. cause I had no friends. Now I don’t like smiling or going first to socialize, I just don’t care, I don’t fake laugh or do much and i’m just really weird. But I think a lot and found my interests which are of course different from everyone. And now i’m scared. when school starts again… and I have a different schedule but this time with friends or people i know in it… will I change? I actually don’t want to now that I found myself. I would hate change and call myself out for it, just like you would before you tried makeup. I know the way I am now is wrong. But I don’t want to change. but I think I should just do, not think. just do. that way I know my real self i guess. because i found my self already, and everyone changes. but i’m still scared regardless i don’t know, it’s stupid.

    • It’s not stupid in the slightest. It’s you. SO many people are scared of changing, but it’s alright to, even if you don’t want to. It’s difficult to stop those changes, so go along with them. Let them become you, and just live.

      • Hold up I need to write this down haha. You word things so well, this is a quote in itself. πŸ™‚ Thankyou so much ^^ You’re just amazing πŸ˜€

  18. Same boat, my friend. I irregularly wear foundation – never a full face – but just to cover up scarring (from blemishes and then there’s the scar from surgery on mt cheek)/any redness. My skin’s not brilliant but eh the tiniest amount can help me feel better, I suppose? I don’t know. Eyeliner is a big-ass rarity. Foundation is what I mainly use, if I use something.
    When sixth form starts I need a new bottle – L’Oreal liquid one is running out. I don’t care enough to purchase beforehand!
    Omg sixth form o.O I need to sort so many things out like files and other educational shizzle XD

    When did we get so old I mean sixth form. SIXTH FORM.

    • Remember when we were in year 10??!! OMG that was so long ago! Also YEAH folders and clothes and holiday homework; I’m already getting stressed! 😦 But yeah, foundation for me is the main thing.

  19. I loved it! πŸ™‚
    I don’t really wear makeup. When I go to a birthday party I usually put mascara on or a concealer if I have dark circles under my eyes. That’s all. I feel more comfortable without makeup because I don’t have to worry about my makeup being smudged. πŸ˜€

    • I can totally understand that! πŸ™‚ And it’s good, because you feel comfortable then, rather than being really worried. It’s important to do what you want to do, rather than just conforming to expectations.

  20. I wear makeup almost every single day but I’ve never used it as a mask, it’s always just been a way of expressing myself and I feel it makes me more confident πŸ™‚ I’m glad you feel you’re able to wear it though!

  21. I honestly felt the same way. it took me forever to get there, I’m trying to be more feminine, because I admire some of the qualities of stereotypical “femininity” but at the same time this time last year I was trash talking those who felt the pressing need to wear it. I’ve only worn it five or six times but every time is kind of cool

    • Now THAT I can totally understand, especially the bashing people who wore it. I’m kind of ashamed (VERY ashamed) of that part of me, but luckily I don’t act that way any more.

  22. SASHAY
    SHANTAY
    OH YAY
    SLAYYYYY

    I’m so proud of you :’) growing up so fast. I’ll think you’re fake when pigs fly. Obviously I don’t put on make up, what aaaa question. Man is it amazing watching you grow into this awesome young woman.

  23. Hey, loved this blog! I always used to think that when people wore makeup they were so fake, but now as I wear a little bit more, I’ve begun to realise that people are more likely to be wearing it as a confidence boost than a mask, I for one have realised that a little mascara makes me look so much more put together, even though it literally takes two seconds!
    I’ve just written a blog post on New Years Resolutions that I’d love you to check out if you have time
    Keep blogging
    CrowdedVlogger xx

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