It’s Okay to be Nervous for Results’ Day

2 years of work, they said.

“You’ve done it!” they shouted, once the last question was finished; you sighed in relief and shook from the knowledge that you’d finished the most difficult exams you’d done so far. That last signing of your name, writing the letters slowly, felt like freedom. 23 of them, and for all your tears at the ones that didn’t go so well, you did it.

And then, you waited. The dread mounted, spiralling, only in the back of your mind; so many other things screamed at you to “Think about me! And me, what about me!” so that the fear only surfaced a few days before. That’s what happens when you block things out.

It’s Result’s Day tomorrow. TOMORROW.

Now I’m thinking about it, I wish I’d done more. If I’d revised so much more, worked harder, realised that my stupid problems were insigmificant, I could have put more effort in. They told me I did my best, that I couldn’t have done more – “You worked SO hard, Elm!” But do I believe them? Only in one corner of my mind.

After this, I’m changing my outlook. I’ll start preparing for A-Levels early, looking over everything after my classes, so that I KNOW where I stand with my work. I’d only wished I’d done that for GCSE.

I’ll try not to dwell on negatives. As much as I KNOW there’s nothing that I, nor anyone else, can do to change the results now, it doesn’t stop me from worrying. I know that I’ll be a nervous wreck tomorrow, crying or similar, before and after the results. For my own piece of mind, I’ll run through what may happen.

I’m planning to wake at 7, and have a shower to feel vaguely more human. Waking up early means that I can mentally prepare myself for the day. Results come in at 10 for our school, but because I live 45 minutes away, I’m leaving the house at 9:ae. #EarlyBird Yaaaaay, I’ll be in the car and totally freaking out! Sounds like fun…

Our school hasn’t told us much. We have to queue up outside (the hall?) and walk in, and get our results in an envelope. We open them, read them, and watch our lives shatter – err, I mean, act very calm about it all. Yeah.

My mum’s bringing me, and so she has to read the results out. I wish they could have it in Braille, but they only get them that morning so it’s not possible. God, I can’t stand that someone has to read them to me; I’d rather be by myself, able to break down if necessary. I’ll hear how well I did by her voice as she says the subject’s name, and I don’t want that. I want to read them on my own terms; they’re MY results. Wow, that makes me sound like a petulent child.

I have no idea when my friends are getting theirs. Some are on holiday – Wren, Cedar, a few others, but Red, Odd and Pine will all be there at some point throughout the day. Even if I’d love to see them, I don’t know if that’ll be possible; Pine invited me to a picnic, but I don’t think I’d be emotionally able to cope with that. That’s sad, because people who I wouldn’t usually speak to would be there.

Apparently, and in Red’s words, there’s a “piss-up party” that starts at 7:cj. With me being me, I don’t know if I want to go to it. I might as well, but I’m nervous, and what if people don’t want me there?! I’m not exactly the get drunk smoke and stay up until 2 AM type, though I may end up proving myself wrong. Not about the smoking, because I have a special dislike for cigarettes. I’d have to depend on Red to get me around, and I don’t want to make him do that.

Oh shit, it’s just sinking in that I’m GETTING MY RESULTS. I keep on having moments where I experience utter terror, where my blood feels like it’s freezing to ice in my veins, and I second guess everything I’ve thought about how well I did.

Because really, I don’t think I did as well as I could have. Yes, I may say that a lot, but with uncertainty creefing like in a persistent fog, I’m becoming more and more sure that I never took those exams seriously. I’ve had several nightmares where I’ve failed one exam or another, the worst one being where I dreampt that I got a D in my Maths exam. Hopefully, I’ll do alright, and prove to myself that I can actually do something. Positive attitude, Elm! POSITIVITY!

My friends tell me that I’ll do great – you all have – and I’ll try and have faith in you. It’s the least I can do, to stay as optimistic as I can.

They are just insignificant letters, on one piece of paper. I’m just one student among hundreds of thousands. GCSEs aren’t important when you think about it; A-Levels are the ones that truly matter. That doesn’t stop me from worrying, clenching my hands into fists, and trawling through Twitter to find out if everyone else is terrified, too.

Good luck, guys. For all my negativity, I just want to tell you one thing.

Stay positive, as much as you can. We haven’t got long to go, until we know and until the wait is over. You have so many people around you that understand, that are JUST as scared as you are.

Last year, some of my blogging friends were getting their results. I fully understand what they were going through, how they felt when they wrote their posts about their fear.

You are going to do amazingly. I say that, no matter what result you get, because the fact that you got through those exams in the first place shows your strength. There are ALWAYS alternative pathways if you didn’t get what you wanted, but once you get those results, DO NOT beat yourself up.

It’s okay. People are always going to support you, because we know what it’s like.

I could have spent this entire post encouraging you, telling you all of these things, but that seems fake to me. I needed to show the raw, terrified side of me, because it’s part of who I am. You needed to know that you’re not alone, that every single person is allowed to show these emotions.

I’ll be making a few calls on Results Day, perhaps to some Internet friends too. If you want to skype that day, just let me know; if you need to talk about how you feel after getting them, I’m here.

We’ll be alright.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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78 thoughts on “It’s Okay to be Nervous for Results’ Day

  1. my results day isnt for another year and tbh im scared about it????? i’m sure you’ll be fine though!! also on a side note, i need to share with someone the fact that im eating vegan fish fingers and they taste amazing lmao

      • THEY WERE SO GOOD TBH but like how did they make them taste like fish??????? honestly i ask myself what kind of magic they use to flavour their food all the time tbh #justveganthings lmao

  2. I understand how you feel about being nervous for your results. At least it’s tomorrow and you won’t have to wait much longer. Good luck!! Regardless how you do (and I’m sure it’ll be really well!) you deserve a nice break from all the stress of Results πŸ™‚
    Anyway, best wishes,
    Girlmasked

  3. Great post. I know that you’ve done well, whether that is reflected on one, insignificant piece of paper or not. Don’t beat yourself up over it… And I expect a call tomorrow! 😜

  4. I’m going to cut to the chase. You’ll get what you deserve and I’m pretty sure that you’ll do well Elm! I’m definite actually. Because I’m about to go through the same thing in about 6 months and my brain cells are already half dead because of pressure and panic I feel. But I remember commenting this on one of ur posts that if you think good about ur self good will happen to you and people will think good about you too!! ALL THE BEST MY DEAR FRIEND I’M SURE U’LL DO WELL AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ON SKYPE. I vaguely remember you asking me if we could but I never got the time sorry. I’m up for the offer now? Do you wanna talk?
    Once again,CONGRATULATIONS ON whatever the result will be Elm! Life’s not a battle you have to win, it’ll be just fine. 😊

  5. Good luck Elm x Whatever your results are, I will be immensely proud of you. I remember reading your posts during our exams, and thinking this girl is working so hard, and has the right qualities to conquer life. Let me know how it goes via email or something (only if you wish, or we could totally pretend tomorrow never happened and instead chat about how hot the weather is or something). Remember, your intelligence is not defined or contained to that piece of paper we will get tomorrow. Hoping for the best. GO ELM!

  6. I really hope you do well! And even if you don’t get the grades you quite wanted, just remember that as long as you’ve passed then there’s nothing else to worry about 😊 I know how disappointing getting a lower grade than you wanted can be (trust me!) but at the end of the day, you really just want to pass 😊 if you don’t happen to pass (which I’m sure won’t be the case) then something will work out for you 😊 it’ll take a bit of time and getting used to but something will definitely work out 😊 GOOD LUCK!!

  7. NOW THIS POST HAS GOT ME NERVOUS HAHA! Just think of it this way, we have done the exams, they are in an envelope and theres no way we can change the results. Yes, we could doubt ourseleves about we could have done better, but Elm you had TWENTY THREE EXAMS! I only had 16 and that was hard enough, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you didn’t revise as much- we all doubt ourselves! I know you will do amazing- I mean your mock results were brilliant! Say if you did get a result you weren’t too happy about- in two years time we will have A-level results and GCSE results will seem so worthless in comparison! Good luck tomorrow​ Elm, try to stay as Calm as you can and celebrate after! I can’t wait to hear about your results, we will all be celebrating in the comments for you! xx

    • You make me so so happy! πŸ™‚ Thank you. I know that you’re going to do amazing, and good luck for today! I’ll try not to panic, I need to remember that they don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things

  8. Hey all the very best and I hope you rock it. Also I will be sending positive vibes all the way from here. 😊

  9. Good luck! Just getting through those exams is pretty firkin impressive in the first place, so no matter how you do at least you can take some comfort in that though I guess. Good luck, we all stress out before getting results I really hope you did well!

  10. I’ve had 3 results days now and I don’t think the feelings about them ever change. On my GCSE results day I couldn’t even work out where my name would be in the alphabet to collect my results! But because I’ve had 3 now, however well you have done it always is okay. Best of luck tomorrow though, just find a space away from everyone else and be proud of yourself! Good luck with those A-Levels too! I’m here for any a-level advice if you need it πŸ™‚ x

  11. Good luck Elm! I’ll be getting my results at 10 tomorrow as well and although I’m still incredibly nervous and pretty sure I won’t sleep tonight, your encouragement has helped me a bit so thanks for writing this post!

  12. Good luck!! Man, I am so terrified!! I was feeling okay and then I logged onto WordPress and it officially dawned on me that it really is tomorrow! I’ve been so busy these last few weeks to give it any thought at all but now it’s all I can think about, I’ll just have to put it out of my mind – she says even though she’s planning on writing a post about it later on… but shower first! πŸ™‚

    • God I know, I feel sick! Good luck for today πŸ™‚ do you will do great. And yeah, putting it out of my mind didn’t exactly work, but we tried!

  13. Good luck! I’m just starting GCSE years and am taking German exam at the end of the year because I’m already fluent… I’m terrified and I haven’t even started the courses yet. Doesn’t help that I’m new and History started their course half a year early, meaning I’ve missed some. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!

  14. It still hasn’t really sunk in yet that I’m getting my results tomorrow and I don’t think it will until I’m five minutes away from getting them (which is at 9am, so I have to be up even earlier). I hope you do well and get the results you wanted! I did have a look at the mark schemes today but it stressed me out a bit because they’ve gone up compared to the last few years for Further Maths, and they’re pretty high for German which I struggled with a bit in the exam. At least there won’t be any more waiting & wondering what we got! Less than 12 hours to go…

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