Sleepless Skies

Wren talked to me about the stars last night.

I can almost imagine them. Pinpricks in the sky, twinkling, moving so fast within the universe but to you? Still, there, up in the darkness of night. The cloak is broken by little diamonds, so numerous that you could never count them. Are they beautiful? I hope they are.

The wonder I experience when I think about it is insane. Stars are the only things I have ever wanted to truly see, but they’re as out of reach to me as they are to you. Long ago, I accepted that I’d never be able to look up at the sky and see more than streetlamps, and I’m more than fine with that. It doesn’t break my heart.

I have a wistful longing for it, though. The quiet of midnight somehow seems more when you realise what’s out there.

To help you imagine how both Wren and I felt, I’ll explain. We are one planet, orbitting just ONE star. If it’s dark, and not too polluted, look up at the sky and see the stars. There are so many of them, all with planets around them. It’s so vast, and we’re insignificant compared – just one human, on one planet.

Endless pathways of galaxies stretch out, so far that it’s incomphehensible. You can see a little of it from your window, when the clouds don’t sweep over the painting. I hope it’s so beautiful that your heart swells with it, because it’s what I’d do.

Is it just me that feels sad when I think of stars dying? It makes them seem living, that huge ball of gas exploding with nobody to hear the sound.Perh it’s just because it’s late, but the idea of it makes me realise how short our lives are.T’s a good thing – not sad, not morbid.

I’ll never believe in a God, but I’m still filled with a sense of awe at the universe. If you believe, you could feel the same – because here, it’s not about belief. It’s realising how huge things are, how terrifyingly amazing the thought of it all is. Do you understand?

We’re just a few people, here. Compared to the expanse of what else is out there, it’s nothing, but we can still see our own little galaxy.

If you ever feel worthless, just remember that you aren’t the only one. Whenever I feel really awful, I imagine the sky stretching above me, the wild expanse of space. Strangely, it calms me, and makes me feel peaceful.

In the way of a painting, the sky’s a canvas and the stars are paint splatters. I know that I sound too philosophical and like I’m drunk, but stars are something I love, that I could talk about for days. My friends understand, the quiet certainty of trying to understand the universe and not being able to.

Talk to me about stars, and you’ll understand how I think. On nights like this, I think about existence and have tears in my eyes because it’s now that I realise that my life is something I should hold. I love feeling like this, because though it leaves me slightly empty, it’s the empty of knowing that everyone sees things differently. Shooting stars are just a speck to some people.

There’s so much in the sky. Just… Look.

From Elm πŸ™‚

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42 thoughts on “Sleepless Skies

  1. I’ve always loved the idea of the stars too! I can’t see them either, but they seem magical to me. I can sort of imagine them, and I really love reading and writing about them, but I especially love reading all the lore behind the constellations. It’s kind of a weird pass time, but I have journals full of star stories and my thoughts on them. πŸ’–

    • That’s beautiful. I’m glad there’s someone in the same boat as me πŸ™‚ I’ve always imagined stars in the sky, closer in my imagination when I know they’re so far away. I love the thought of them, and whenever something comes on the news about space, I read it immediately.
      Where do you find the star stories?

  2. You have an amazing way at making me remember to be thankful for the small things (ha, starts aren’t really small but you get meee) as stars. When I look at them through my window at night, I always wonder who else is staring up at them as well. Its such a weird feeling, but it calms me knowing that I’m not the only person in this world with their eyes searching high up in the deep skiiiiies hehe. Anyways. Thanks for reminding me to be thankful, elm. you’re a gem xx

    • Your comment just enforces that you are wonderful. Yes, it must be almost comforting to know you aren’t the only one. That somewhere, someone’s looking at the stars – the same stars, but they might look different to someone else. It’s fascinating. Thanks for your thoughts πŸ™‚

    • You know – I’m so glad, like you wouldn’t believe. I love that other people can relate to how I feel about the sky, because it shows me I’m not the only one.

  3. This, I can relate to. Sometimes, whenever I look up to the sky I seriously understand how insignificant and tiny I am and how trivial my problems seem as compared to the Universe. It’s a terrifying thing, it’s something so huge so unfathomable. But it’s also so beautiful and so calming . Your post perfectly summed up my thoughts, it was brilliant.

    • Ahhhh, thank you so so much πŸ™‚ I’m so glad you loved it and that you truly understand πŸ™‚ The sky is fascinating, more fascinating than I can think, so that you can’t hold the feeling inside of you.

  4. Loved this whole metaphor! You are a talented writer! I could actually picture every single image that you depicted, and I felt so calm and grateful! I am not up to date as with who Wren is, but if he’s your inspiration behind this post, well kudos Wren, haha!

    • She’s one of my best friends πŸ™‚ She’s as philosophical as me haha! I’m really glad you liked the post, and that you could picture everything! It’s what I love doing; writing is something that makes me feel peaceful.

  5. Oh my gosh, that was so pretty!
    It is often raining/cloudy, so I haven’t been able to see the stars, but when it’s a clear night I ALWAYS just stare at them… It’s so cool, sometimes you see satellites and shooting stars and it’s just so cool. It’s weird to think that even when we can’t see the satellites, they can always “see” us…

    I feel like if I had a voice recording of this being read out, I would be able to sleep like a baby, haha.

    Awesome job Elm!

  6. ELM THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL I’M CRYING

    Stars are just so gorgeous and amazing and it is quite fascinating to think about the expanse of space, I agree. I will gladly talk about stars with you anytime πŸ™‚

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