Do I HAVE The Right?

Today, I went prom dress shopping with Wren – which was amazing, and we cried with laughter on so many occasions. She’s fabulous 😀

I found my dress, but in the process of looking, something came up that bothered me a little at the time, but now I’m okay.

We went through shops, looking for dresses in my size. To put things in perspective, I’m thin as hell, and underweight – fuckit, let’s just say it. I’m a size 6.

There were hardly any dresses in that size – all of them were 8s. “10, 12, 14, another 14, okay that’s an 8, and that one, and THAT one, c’mon c’mon!” BUT hardly any sixes. And it upset me. Wren noticed, of course, and we talked it through.

Do I have a right to be bothered that I’m SO thin, SO small, and that hardly anything WILL fit me? I don’t know. On either end of the scale – overweight, underweight – clothes won’t fit as easily. I’d rather be in the middle, an 8, 10, or 12, but then people apparently would be so happy if they were my size.

But no, you wouldn’t be. In the shops, they hardly ever have dresses, or the dresses I NEEDED, in my size, and it was frustrating as hell.

People worry about being fat, overweight, etc – by the way, that’s not a bad thing and don’t try and change yourself. I feel like I’m UNABLE to give advice, because I’m so thin, but in a way I can because I have the same issues, but just in reverse.

I think I’m TOO thin, TOO skinny, small, with my wrists too thin and my body too little that only kids’ clothes will fit me. Shoes are always a problem too, because I’m so small. When I think, or talk about it, I feel like it’s unfair because people have it so much worse, in terms of body confidence, than I do.

You know what? I’m alright how I am. I’m tiny, I look like a 12-year-old, but I don’t care. Shopping’s more difficult, but to be honest, who cares? I’m living my life and yeah, putting on weight might be better for me, but I’m working on it.

People have it difficult, they always will. It might seem like I’m talking up on a pedestal, like my life is perfect because of my weight, but I KNOW how you feel when you can’t stand your body. No matter what size you are, does it matter? What DOES matter is that you’re as healthy, and happy, as you can be. Don’t dismiss people just because they’ve got different struggles to you. Don’t call thinner people skinny bitches, or larger people disgusting.

Just remember this: you might think the people who you WANT to be, who are your opposites, have it amazing. Chances are, they hate their body and they feel insecure. That just shows you you’re not alone, and that it’s okay to be how you are.

From Elm 🙂